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beautiful view–not so beautiful dahlia

July 1, 2009
my rooftop view at sunset

my rooftop view at sunset

as i think i’ve said once before, since i moved to nyc i’ve kind of let myself go.  the lack of dancing caused me to lose muscle and gain fat, lack of sleep (from any of the following: thesis, fear of the unknown, crying, throwing a tantrum, mosquitos, heat, cold, noise) gives me circles under my eyes that no woman would envy, my hair is just unmanageable…period, and (this one is new) i haven’t plucked my eyebrows in about 3 weeks…i am frau unibrow.

now don’t get me wrong, i understand how this patriarchal society has manipulated me into feeling bad about myself.  i read the the beauty myth, i get it.  yet with all of my feminist scholarship and understanding i am still not immune to feeling bad about myself.   however, i DO have power to try and develop my own sense of self (and define what makes me look and feel good), so i’m working on that.

Step one: dance classes!  whenever i can go, i should go

Step two: enjoy the beauty around me; for example, that gorgeous picture with the empire state building in it?  that’s the view from my roof.  awesome?  i think so.

step three: shower more often – sorry mom, but it’s not always top priority for me

step four: don’t buy magazines (i don’t but sometimes i peak) and avoid television

step five: remember there are people who love me and care for me just as i am, and i don’t need to change for anyone or anything.

awe, wasn’t that an inspirational post?  blarrgh, seems to cheezy, but oh well.  the most important thing i want folks to take away from this is analyze everything damnit!  do not take things at face value because it’s probably just a tactic to get you to conform to capitalist patriarchal pressures!  ZOMG!  it’s awfully high on this horse, i should probably step down…

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